We all experience some negative emotions when something does not pan out how we wanted. Does it make us a failure? No. It only means that we have not achieved our goal in our chosen way.
Failure does not exist. There are results of actions that might not always be successful; however, they can be used as feedback, a stepping stone for further learning. These experiences are useful. When something does not achieve the desired outcome, we have a chance for corrections.
“Failure is just a way of describing a result that you did not want. You can use the results you get to redirect your efforts. Feedback keeps the goal in view.” (O’Connor and Seymour 1990). It is more like a new opportunity to learn, improve and grow as a person. If something does not work, we have to change our ways, tools, and sometimes the goal itself, to obtain different results. Failure does not exist, you are not a failure. As long as you keep trying, you will recognise where, what and how to change in order to bring about the desired state.
When people have a negative perception of themselves, they feel quickly defeated when faced with challenges. Each obstacle, mistake, or unsuccessful trial can seem like proof of what they already know – that they won’t succeed and that they are not okay. If it’s like you, it is vital to prioritise learning to value yourself, appreciate that you are trying. Eventually, you will find a way of achieving your goals because you have all the abilities and capabilities to do so.
Reference:
O’Connor, J. and Seymour, J. (1990). Introducing NLP, London: Aquarian/Thorsons
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